by Prichinna
Every year I have every intention of attending the Montauk St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Yet somehow, the previous night’s activities eat up those intentions and impede me from taking the 1 hour and 45 minute train ride out east early on a Sunday morning. As I set my alarm Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), it told me I only had 4 hours and 12 minutes to sleep, I almost backed out again.
People have been traveling to the tip of the south fork for 48 years to participate in New York State’s 2nd largest St. Patrick’s Day parade. The Montauk Friend’s of Erin Parade draws up to 45,000 people a year and has about 90 entrants, varying from fire departments, floats, and performing acts. I quickly learned that my friend Jess lives for this day. It has become bigger than Christmas for her and she takes this day to the next level. Costume and all, Jess becomes Miss St. Patty herself. I also learned that rarely does one survives a parade day with the lass, let alone return for a round two. I had a mission because I was Jess’s ‘this-year-girl’.
We started the morning by smuggling a six-pack of tall boys onto the train. There are 364 days a year that you can drink on the LIRR, but this particular day happens to be excluded. There were cops all over the platform, and I am not sure how Jess’s green hair didn’t make us a target for a bag search. Nevertheless, we made it onto the train and started our St. Patty’s day journey. We pre-gamed a bit with our stash and enjoyed the ride out east. After being herded off the car and corralled like cattle out of the station, we made our way to the first stop, The Old Harbour House. Here we were attired with green beads and some sparkly green top hats by a friendly bartender. The bar was open and airy with Blue Moon on tap, yum. With an outdoor patio and bar, it looks like a great place to return to in the summer.
After a few beers and bathroom breaks, we realized the parade was underway. We were near the end of the queue and we walked along the route to make our way into town. The next thing I knew, we were in the parade. Jess’s brother and his girlfriend hitched a ride on the wide chrome bumper of a fire truck. I walked arm-in-arm with Miss St. Patty herself as she did the Ms. America wave. The cameras snapped and the crowd ate her up. We had just had our 15 minutes of fame in Montauk. We quickly dipped out when we saw a row of porta-potties and moved onto stop #2, appropriately named The Trail’s End.
The Trail’s End was a bit smaller and darker than the first bar and had no Blue Moon. The bartender tried to pass off a rum and diet for a vodka and diet to a friend, but made good on his mistake. The name of stop #3 was fuzzy by this point and someone put a can of Coor’s light in my hand. Done. Food was soon in order and Village Pizza was delicious. The service was quick and the pizza was hot. The last stop was Memory Motel. This was more like a club and even had a $5 cover. It was dark and loud and there were at least two fights in our short time there. When we emerged back out into the warm sunlight, most of the crowd had cleared, leaving the sidewalks full of plastic cups and other litter. Some drunks stumbled about the streets and it was clear it was time to head back to the station. No fancy walk for us this time, just a somber cab ride back to the mayhem of the 5:33 train. Oh yeah, you don’t want to miss the train out. There is not another one out until 1 a.m. and I can only imagine how many get stuck there, or rather, how many people Montauk gets stuck with.
Will I be Jess’s next year girl? Hell yeah! But next year, look for Miss and Ms. St. Patty. I am ordering a green wig right now.
This event was S.W.A.K. worthy.
I had a friend from Dublin who got so shitfaced at the Rocky Pt Pat's Parade that he woke up in someone's lawn, courtesy of a cop. The cops told him to drop the phony brogue.
Posted by: Jay | 03/25/2010 at 01:07 PM