Tipsy

Portrait in Seven Slugs

Last night, ElMarko and I went to UB to see Wynton Marsalis and the Lincoln Center Jazz Orhcestra. They began with three pieces by other composers, but the bulk of the performance consisted of a work by one of their own called “Portrait in Seven Shades.” Ted Nash was inspired by works he’d seen at MoMA in Manhattan and set about to describe the artists musically. His focus varied – for some, he captured their art, for others, he used their life stories – but every one was wildly inventive.

This, naturally, got me thinking about the very same artists. Specifically, I began to wonder what they drank. So, here’s my very own Portrait in Seven Slugs:

Claude Monet surely stuck with French wine, but even then, he leaned to more subtle styles. He enjoyed Muscadet with fresh oysters and Vouvray with strong cheese. When leaning towards red, he went for lighter wines like Beaujolais or St-Nicolas-de-Bourgueil. He always steered clear of clobbering Bordeaux, or any other flavor that conquered others.

Salvador Dali drank gasoline. Or urine.

 Henri Matisse was a bold bugger. He wasn’t shy about enjoying the  buzz as much as he enjoyed his drink. He was all about Bordeaux. A big believer in la vie boheme, he also was the first to pop Champagne corks whenever possible.

Pablo Picasso was fiercely nationalistic. He was also fiercely masculine. He stuck to deep, rich reds from Rioja, at least until he made money. Then, he went with Priorats and never looked back. None of that sissy French crap for him.

Van Gogh was a pretty notorious Absinthe drinker, but I’ll guess that he also dug on Ricard and Pernod. When he was really broke, he hit the cheap gin. That never seemed to work out too well.

Marc Chagall was a man of contradictions; although he enjoyed Burgundies, he also had a soft spot for vodka and slivovitz. He could put on the show of being decidedly French in his palatial decisions, but in secret, he slurped borscht.

Jackson Pollack stuck to good ol’ American bourbon: effective and quick. Fuck wine.

 

 

Homeslice

by Jay

When I was considering my move to Buffalo from New York, I was not at all convinced that I would survive. After all, how would a dedicated food-slave like myself manage in what is oft-seen as a cultural wasteland? Imagine my surprise when my first stop while looking at apartments was Betty’s.

 

I arrived on a grim February day, which is to say a typical February day in Buffalo. (NB: While I find that most of the year up here is beautiful, February blows. Period.) There wasn’t nearly as much snow as I’d expected, so clomping around on the frozen grass in my snow boots felt a bit ridiculous. I had a half-assed map from the Lonely Planet and no clue whatsoever about the city. I did, however, have an appointment to look at an apartment on Hudson Street, so since I was early, I wandered down to Betty’s for a coffee.

 

It was a Saturday, probably around noon or so. Despite the lack of snow, it was very cold outside and I was chilled from exploring Buffalo on foot. Betty’s was very busy with the brunch crowd, and I have since found out that it’s got one of the best brunches in town. Not being of the brunch-going sect in NYC, I didn’t even think about that at the time – I just wanted something hot to drink. Only a little table by the front was open, so I grabbed that and ordered a scone and a coffee. The waitress brought a cherry and white chocolate chip scone and, I shit thee not, it was one of the best damn things I’ve ever tasted. (In fact, they have been consistently sold out every time since that I’ve gone.) I was thrilled once I had a look at the menu too: many vegetarian options, homey food with a creative twist. After visiting Betty’s and, later, the Allen Street Hardware Café, I figured that I could indeed survive in Buffalo.

 

Four years later, Betty’s is still one of my favorite places to eat. Through wine, I got to know the owners, Carroll and Doty, and I even held a wine tasting for the staff. (My god, they can drink!) Betty’s was recently expanded to include a full bar and I think my visits have increased in direct correlation to the added square footage. The bar area is surprisingly swank for the funk of Allentown, but it blends well with the warm restaurant. One of my favorite new features is a massive wood door Carroll found at Buffalo ReUse, and I’m determined to smuggle that bitch out at some point.

 

Last night, ElMarko and I went to Kleinhans Music Hall, another favorite, to see a performance for the Buffalo Chamber Music Society. I bought season tickets this year for the two of us because it’s one of the biggest bargains to be found, and that’s saying a lot in a very cheap city. It gives us an excuse to get gussied mid-week and take ourselves out, all classy-like. I donned a purpley dress with gold heels and a little gold jacket, which is not quite as tacky as it sounds. And, despite all of the higher end restaurants we could hit, we went to go to Betty’s. It’s around the corner from Kleinhans and I know that we, as vegetarians, are always able to have options other than a portobello whatever. The food is always great and the service is always friendly. The recently expanded wine list is well-constructed, and nothing is too expensive. In an industry plagued with the lackluster, Betty’s has found the perfect niche of warm, affordable, and most of all, delicious.  

 

 

Sidewalk Vigilantes

 

by Prichinna

I love live music. I love turtles. I even love Candy Land. At the Sage Café, you can find all of these things - as well as Blue Point brews always on tap. A few nights a week, music flows between the walls of this cozy bar/restaurant. Just behind the talents of the night, in a corner pond, live some red-eared sliders. And in the piano bench resides a Candy Land game. So when my Music Guru Pete told me to come down on a Saturday night to see a “phenomenal” band, he didn’t have to twist my arm very hard.

Sage is located in Blue Point, Long Island along Montauk Highway. The outside appearance is quaint, and the inside is quite cozy. A sign above the performers says all you need to know: "Welcome to Sage Café. A Good Old Fashioned Place. Relax --- This is Not A Fast-Food Place. It is Not Half-Fast Either. It is Full Slow. So Sit Back and Look Around… Enjoy Life and The People That are Here!!!"  

Music Guru Pete, who has yet to steer me wrong in the realm of local talent, has been telling me about Jesse Pagano and his various bands for probably close to a year now. Jesse is a Patchogue native that has been playing at local establishments for years, although he mainly plays in the city now. (And on Long Island, there's only one 'city'.) There are many incarnations of his band Karmasutra, which plays home-grown acoustic music with a reggae flavor. On this particular night, we were listening to Jesse and the Sidewalk Vigilantes, who are his two brothers Craig and Noah. (The brothers are also part of Karmasutra.) Jesse was the front man on vocals and lead guitar. His passionately delivered lyrics accompanied his bluesy rock strummings. Craig backed up his brother’s vocals and played rhythm guitar. Noah, also of Noah’s Ark, was on bass arking out. The percussionist Chris Cauley, of Sayville, jammed out with the djembe. Finally, Paul Micca who used to play at the Sage's Jazz nights, was on the drums.  So for five bucks towards the band, and 6.50 a Captain and coke, I had an under 20 dollar Saturday night (I was driving and had to be responsible if you are doing the math). Not bad.

The band was indeed pretty phenomenal. Aside from the couple of strays from the guido bar across the street, the crowd was lively and grooving to the beat. One of the ‘strays’ from across the street was a shorter version of Mr. Clean, with the earring to match. Mr. Clean would throw his arms out in front of himself and shake his hips (not to the beat) every time a female looked his way. It did add an element of comedy to the night, and hey, The Sage does ask that you enjoy “… the people that are here." 

This event was SWAK worthy.